carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
