so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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