While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
