well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
