PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
