His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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