we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
