She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
