I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
