is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
