That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
