You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
