Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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