I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
