People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
