I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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