so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
