I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
