yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
