I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
