Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I believe in your delicious
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
