She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I love you. Go after that dick
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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