She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Houston, we have a squirter
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
