do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
