Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
