We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
