I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
