He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
