I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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