We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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