If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
