if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
