Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
