she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
