i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she peed on how many people?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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