keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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