Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
