in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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