Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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