Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
