He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
