I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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