I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
