Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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