He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
