at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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