Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
where does the pee come out of this thing
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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