So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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