After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize