Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
