Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
