i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
