Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
