i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
