So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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